急需人工翻译

Eggs scare me. Chickens, too. And buddy, you can laugh at that all you want, but I'm being
蛋会吓到我，鸡也是。还有，伙计，你想怎么笑我都行，但我是
dead serious here.
绝对认真伯。
It started in the sixth grade with eggs.
这事开始于六年级的时候，从鸡蛋引发。
And a snake.
还有一条蛇。
And the Baker brothers.
还有Baker兄弟。
The Baker brothers' names are Matt and Mike, but even now I can't tell you which one's
Baker兄弟的名字叫Matt和Mike，但我到现在也分不清到底哪个是哪个。
which. You never see one without the other. And even
你从来不会只见到他们中的一个而不见到另一个。尽管
though they're not twins, they do look and sound pretty much the same, and they're both in
他们不是双胞胎，他们的长相和声音却那么相像，而且他俩都在
Lynetta's class, so maybe one of them got held back.
Lynetta的班里，所以可能他们中的一个被留级了。
Although I can't exactly see a teacher voluntarily having either of those maniacs two years in
尽管我找不到哪个老师自愿教这两个疯子中的哪一个连续两年。
a row.

Regardless, Matt and Mike are the ones who taught me that snakes eat eggs. And when I
无论如何，Matt和Mike是教给我蛇吃蛋的人。当我说
say they eat eggs, I'm talking they eat them raw and
它们吃蛋的时候，我是说他们生吃而且
shell-on whole.
连壳吞。
I probably would've gone my entire life without this little bit of reptilian trivia if it hadn't been
我很可能活了一辈子也经历不到爬行动物这件小事，如果不是
for Lynetta. Lynetta had this major-league thing for
因为Lynetta的话。Lynetta为Skyler Brown做了这么个社团的东西，
Skyler Brown, who lives about three blocks down, and every chance she got, she went down
这个Skyler Brown住在向前大约三座楼房的地方，而且她只要一有机会，就走到
there to hang out while he practiced the drums. Well,
那去长谈不归，而他就在那里敲鼓。好了，
boom-boom-whap, what did I care, right? But then Skyler and Juli's brothers formed a band,
嘣嘣嚓，我管那干麻，对吧？但是之后Skyler和Juli的兄弟组了个乐队，
which they named Mystery Pisser.
名叫神秘尿人。
When my mom heard about it, she completely wigged out. “What kind of parents would allow
当我妈妈听说这事的时候，她完全急了：“什么样的父母会允许
their children to be in a band named Mystery
他们的孩子参加一个名叫神秘尿人的乐队。
Pisser? It's vile. It's disgusting!”
这真是邪恶，真恶心！”
“That's the whole point, Mom,” Lynetta tried to explain. “It doesn't mean anything. It's just to
“这正说到点子上了，妈妈，”Lynetta试着解释。“这没有任何意义。这就是
get a rise out of old people.”
为了让老一辈人吃惊。”
“Are you calling me old, young lady? Because it's certainly getting a rise out of me!”
“你是说我老吗，年轻的小姐？因为这件事明显地让我吃惊了！”
Lynetta just shrugged, implying that my mom could draw her own conclusion.
Lynetta只是耸了耸肩，暗示我妈妈说出她自己的结论。
“Go! Go to your room,” my mother snapped.
“走！回你的家，”我妈妈斥责道。
“For what?” Lynetta snapped back. “I didn't say a thing!”
“为什么？”Lynetta反诘道，“我什么也没说啊！”
“You know perfectly well what for. Now you go in there and adjust your attitude, young lady!”
“你完全清楚为什么。现在你去改正你的态度，年轻人！”

鸡蛋吓到我了。鸡,太。和伙伴,你能嘲笑那个你想要的一切,但我的存在

认真的在这里。

它开始在六年级的时候用鸡蛋。

和一条蛇。

而面包师的弟兄。

面包师兄弟的名字是麦特和迈克,但直到现在,我不能告诉你,你的

哪个。你永远不会看到一个没有其他的。甚至

虽然他们不是双胞胎,他们做的看起来、听起来几乎相同的,它们在

Lynetta的课,所以也许其中之一得到保留。
虽然我不能完全看老师主动有是任何一个狂热者两年

一排。

不管怎样,麦特和迈克的是那些教导我,蛇吃蛋。而当我

说他们吃鸡蛋,我在说他们生吃

shell-on整体。

我将很可能已经走了我的整个生命,如果没有这一点的爬虫类琐事,如果没有

为Lynetta。 有了这个大联盟的事Lynetta

Skyler布朗,谁住大约三个街区,每一个机会,她得到了,她走下

当他在那里出去练鼓。嗯,

boom-boom-whap了什么,我在乎你,对吗? 但后来Skyler和Juli的哥哥们形成了一个乐队,

他们Pisser命名的神秘。

当我妈妈听说这件事,她完全呵斥。“什么样的父母会允许的

他们的孩子在乐队命名的奥秘

Pisser吗? 这是卑鄙的。这真恶心!”

“这就是全部,妈妈,”Lynetta试图解释说,“那并不代表什么。因为它太

要笑出来的老人。”

“你叫我老了,小姐?因为这当然是得到一个挣脱我!”

Lynetta耸耸肩,暗示着我妈妈可以得出自己的结论。

“去吧!你去你的房间,”我母亲断了。

“什么?”Lynetta反驳道。“我没说这件事。”

“你知道的很清楚为什么。现在你进去,调整你的态度,年轻的女士!”